While Anna Marie was sick, I put many things on hold, she was teaching me many things about patience and not trying so hard to be perfect in everything I did and to just continue to create. You see I was an only child and many only children never live up to what they parents want for them. I too was not a boy, being born into a working family no matter what year it is, modern or living in centuries past, a boy would have been more useful. As you can imagine, it’s impossible to be perfect and as a woman, wife and mother and employee or shop owner you learn to multi task all jobs on your plate. Never forgetting that your children are your most important creation. You hope to shape them and make them better than you are or were etc. Instead in the last year I discovered my daughter was trying harder and harder to help me. She didn’t want to die, she wasn’t really ready she has left many things unfinished. Now I am alone even thou with my husband, there are no children or grandchildren that needs me. You feel totally empty after you have given of yourself for your entire adult life to loose your children. It’s rather sad. Clyde has adopted the teenagers at work and I am still lost.
A parent needs to feel love and needed. No new adventures just yet, I am trying to sell off many items in my home as there is no one that will care for them or cherish them as Anna Marie would have.
Oh well, at least my dogs still wag their tails when I walk in the door.